First of all, let’s start with the names.
Barkin’ Mad
Basterd Brothers
Belladonna Sisterhood
Black Hearts
BumBiters
That’s just 5 British motorcycle club names from one letter of the alphabet, all of which are taken from a list of hundreds of club names on just this one site. American biker club names are certainly every bit as vulgar, if less charmingly English and well chronicled online.
As for the site itself? It’s named after Cernunnos. You know, Cernunnos, the “Celtic pagan god of the woods. Sometimes shown as a human body with a stag's head and sometimes, as in our patch design, a bloke with horns - hence his other title of…The Horned One.” Yeah, that Cernunnos. Although you’re probably like us and always get him confused with Nantosuelta, right??
For all their modern-day imagery of leather-jacketed outlaws, motorcycles are actually descendants of steam-powered bicycles from the mid 19th century. So why aren’t we awash in Steampunk motorcycle clubs? Because of technology. From the late 1800s to early 1900s, the term motorcycle came along and the internal combustion engine fueled a remarkable array of them. Motorcycles didn’t reach any kind of national popularity until 1915 though, when World War I spurred the development of Triumph Motorcycle’s Model H, which had no pedals. Officially severing motorcycle’s ties with the bicycle. Motorcycles grew in popularity and started their long association with outlaws thanks to, of all people, returning World War II veterans. Motorcycles especially rooted themselves in culture thanks to the film The Wild Angels, which features this subtle tagline: ‘Their credo is violence…their God is hate…and they call themselves The Wild Angels.’
They’re not making taglines like that for Volvo drivers.
Getting started
Okay, future Wild Angel, while you stir in your stew of rebellion and hate, you have to decide, what motorcycle best suits you? First, ensure that it makes enough noise to stave off your impending mortality. And piss off all the neighbors. Selecting the right motorcycle goes well beyond the brand. There are a range of styles and engines to consider, depending on your experience and how/where you plan to ride. We have a breakdown on the different types of motorcycles in the next section, but Total Motorcycle has a comprehensive guide for once you’re ready to pick one up.
One of the coolest things about a motorcycle is how there's nothing separating you from the open road, wind in your (helmeted!) hair and all that. But the complete lack of a steel cage also means you're considerably more vulnerable. Before you start riding, take a safety course with the Motorcycle Safety Foundation. And always wear protective gear.
Once you have a motorcycle, you ought to know how to conduct basic maintenance. Motorcycles, like cars, are becoming ever more complex, putting many repairs out of reach of even ardent DIYers. However, all motorcycles have basic maintenance that anyone can do with the right tools. About.com has rounded some up some help for you.
If that sounds silly, you can read about why you should be the type of person who wants to know their bike, and explore deep philosophical issues in the classic novel, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
Finally, read a heartwarming (and tear-inducing) story of a motorcycle enthusiast - The Moth - helping his wife make her last ride, showing that not even cancer keeps a rider down.
Whatever your grandmother said about motorcycles and the certainty that they would lead to your gruesome demise, even she would surely admit that the appeal of motorcycles is alluring. With its outlaw roots springing from a community of men trying to restore the unequalled camaraderie of the battlefield, it’s no wonder motorcycles cast such a spell on us. And let’s be honest, your grandmother probably rode a motorcycle too; she just doesn’t want you to be as cool as she was.
Motorcycle people - they have no problem letting their freak flag fly. You can pretty much guarantee that not a single car group has ever or will ever name itself after any version of Satan. (Let’s just agree this is correct without fact checking, okay?)
Types & disciplines
Adventure Touring: Ever dream of ruggedly exploring South America or Africa on two wheels? Riding with everything you own strapped to your bike and being able to overcome any obstacle the road throws at you? What you want is an adventure tourer. Or do you? What you don’t realize is just how big and heavy and unwieldy these bikes can be. Not to mention the fact that most are too complicated for third world mechanics to adequately service or fix. For most people, a properly outfitted dual sport is actually a better bet for exploring the world.
Cruiser: The first image in mind for 110% of you when you think cruiser is a Harley Davidson. Other companies make cruisers, of course, but Harley has become synonymous with these iconic bikes. Cruisers have a relaxed sitting position and a low center of gravity, making them comfortable for weekend rides. If you’re going through a mid-life crisis and really, really want to be cool again, pick up a cruiser and join a leather jacket clad biker gang. Mission accomplished.
Dual Sport: Want to be able to take the backwoods trails to get to the store and then the highway home? Dual Sport is the proper term for what most laymen would call on/off road bikes. If you really want to be able to tackle anything the road throws at you, anytime or anywhere, this is the right bike. It is also our zombie-apocalypse bike of choice. If you really want to get the best out of a dual sport, consider having two sets of dedicated tires.
Sport: Want to ride a motorcycle because you saw a picture of a hardcore rider, in full leathers take a turn practically sideways, with his knee dragging along the ground? Bad idea. Sport bikes are powerful and overly responsive, which is a poor combination for new riders. So resist the temptation. Once you do have the requisite experience and training though, few thrills can match those you’ll experienced while perched atop a sport bike. Do yourself a favour though, and attend a proper racing school before you do though. We recommend California Superbike School, which rents bikes and runs tracks all over the world.
Standard: If you’re looking for a practical everyday bike to comfortably get you around town, this is it. Standard bikes are comfortable, light, and easy. And they don’t have fairings, so when you inevitably drop it, the fix won’t be too expensive.
Tourer: Motorcycles and comfort aren’t typically in the same sentence. Having said that, touring bikes are very comfortable on the open road, even over long distances. You can crank the radio, sit back in your cushy seat and enjoy the scenery. Having said that, touring bikes are big and heavy, so they are a poor choice to take you around town. Few things are more perfect for Route 66 though.
Even outlaws need representation in the government, brother. That’s why the American Motorcyclist Association exists. They have their own AAA-style roadside assistance and your dues help to ensure motorcycle riding is represented on the national stage. Your dues also get you a magazine that features listings of rides and rallies.
